text; un: majima

[no_kyouken]

[ A real live yakuza. Ask me anything! ]

Listen, a lot of ya have no clue how to be in th'life.

So before ya go do somethin' stupid an' get hurt: ya can ask me. Probably won't laugh at ya.

[ ...no promises though... ]

Comments

Text / un; Archer

[21towin]

Feeling altruistic are you? Don't most of you yakuza types try and keep things on the down low?

[no_kyouken]

From the katagi. Which you ain't.

un KSISHITANI

[pitfight]

cute. trying to expand your influence already?

[no_kyouken]

Tryin' to help some idiots before they lose their fingers

Audio; un: sharkconcept

[starshepard]

[ You can't make her text, the Ember app is bad enough. ]

It has come to my attention that there are quite a few terms I need to learn. I'm not even sure where to start.

[no_kyouken]

Sure, probably a few don't mean nothin' outside th'yakuza.

un: n-jima

[evoked]

Got a list of general tips and tricks?

[no_kyouken]

1. Your leader is your family now, an' ya owe everythin' to 'em. Never, ever disrespect them. Everythin' ya do is t'make 'em look good and keep 'em in power.

2. Yakuza's reputation is everythin' an' yer now part of that rep. If ya embarrass th'clan it's serious an' can make it all th'way to yer leader.

3. Never talk back. Even if ya think ya ain't done nothin' wrong, bow yer damn head an' say yer sorry.

4. Don't pick fights for nothin'. If it's unprovoked th'other leader can come back and demand repayment for th'revenue they're losin' while their soldier is injured.

5. It's a fine line ya gotta walk. Yakuza are all fuckin' liars and everyone wants t'get ahead but yer a family now and ya gotta do right by 'em. Just gotta watch yer back carefully.

text un: cainknightley, im sorry

[himbosupreme]

[This phone thing was so fascinating!!! The way you could type messages instead of writing them, and they could appear on other peoples little screens...it was magic! And he was a wizard so he's an expert talking.]

What do you mean by the life? Should we talk to you about housing concerns? I mean, I think you automatically get a job with who recruits you. Perhaps are you a good cook and want to share your knowledge? That's a great idea.

[no_kyouken]

[ FFS ]

No, I mean bein' in a fuckin' gang.

text; un: didnot.

[bratherine]

you know how to cook or something?

( yeah, someone didn't get the yakuza memo part of this )

[no_kyouken]

We're talkin' about th'yakuza

text | un: seventhcircle

[daragh]

Maybe you could post an Idiot's Guide to th'life. Crash course on it all.

[no_kyouken]

Publishin' sounds like somebody else's bag.

text | un: hardcore

[deathrespect]

Shit. Wish I had someone to tell me some shit about it all when I was a youngblood in Katen-gumi.

[no_kyouken]

Th'hell were yer aniki?

text, un: gunfireparty

[trustheart]

I can take care of myself

but I guess advice wouldn't hurt

[no_kyouken]

It's hard goin' it alone against th'yakuza

text | un: DesperatelySeekingShinjuu

[diesuki]

Would a real life yakuza be giving advice on how to be a yakuza to his yakuza enemies?

Sounds fake!

[no_kyouken]

Funny story, it's on all of us t'police proper yakuza behavior. Gotta keep up th'standard cuz it's still all us yakuza against all those fuckin' police.

Don't forget it.

Text / un: Anonymous

[appleforyou]

How do the yakuza go about covering up a murder?

[no_kyouken]

Depends on what they're tryin' t'accomplish with the murder and what kind of resources they got behind 'em.

So ya'd have t'be more specific.

text | un: suizenji

[watermemory]

To be honest, I'd just like to keep my head down and not make waves.

So... is that even a realistic goal?

[no_kyouken]

Sure, but waves are gonna be made and ya aren't always gonna like where they push ya.

text; un: owen

[sicklysweet]

[Does Owen know what a yakuza is? Absolutely not.

That's not going to be relevant to what he asks anyways, because he both will ignore any advice he gets anyways and has a much more important question to ask.]

I don't care about the life. I want to know where I can get those pastries made of layers like flayed skin, topped with shards like broken glass that could cut your gums.

[...





He means almond croissants.]

[no_kyouken]

Dunno. Can't help ya man.

[ ...christ... ]

text; un: poison_wing

[wingclip]

I must say: going out of your way to give advice is very commendable!

I assumed there was no moral code in such a world.

[Girl...]

[no_kyouken]

Honor really matters t'some yakuza. It just ain't all of 'em.