text; un: ENMA

[jigokumods]

The Department of the Enma

Memorandum

To: All Officers
From: The Desk of the Enma
Subject: "Beach Party"


All Officers of the Department of the Enma will be sharing shifts on life-guard duty for the "Beach Party" event hosted by the Sutoku Alliance, per request of the Daitengu. Shifts will last no more than two (2) hours each, and compensation will come in the form of free access to all food and drink.

That is all.

-The Desk of the Enma


[[ooc; the Enma, as usual, will not be responding to any comments, but players are encouraged to interact among themselves below!]]

Comments

text; un: threehorns

[ganashara]

Cops shouldn't pretend to be rescue workers. They're not in the business of actually saving lives.

[ MIC DROP. ]

[pervy_kappa]

All food and drink, eh?
Does that include the stalls run by every clan?

[His poor paycheck.]

[appleforyou]

"All" means everything.

[Sorry Gojyo, you’ll get no sympathy here.]

[pervy_kappa]

Man.

This is such bullshit.

[Fuck looking good, he's never actively volunteering for something again.]

[appleforyou]

Normally I’d agree but this actually works in my favor so I don’t mind too much ♥

What kind of stall are you running?

[pervy_kappa]

None of your business is what.

[Maybe if he scares people away it will mean less spending on his end.]

Seriously though, why the hell do you guys get free food and Tamamo gets paid for their shit meanwhile everything in Shuten is coming outta my paycheck?

[He wants a transfer!]

text; un: arianrhod

[sharpestsword]

We value your feedback. I'll go ahead and submit a comments and concerns form for you. All I need is some information first.
Would you like to be contacted? If so what is the best way to reach you?
Would you propose any action be taken?
Any additional information we need to be aware of?

[ganashara]

If this is meant to be a joke, it needs work.

[appleforyou]

Guess I’ll just have to stop by every Shuten stall, then! You know, to show my support~

That sounds like something you should take up with your cheapskate boss, not with me.

[pervy_kappa]

Yeah yeah, do I really look like I wanna get my ass kicked that badly?

[Don't answer that.]

Here I freaking volunteered to help with the food to make our clan look good and all I get is poverty.

Guess I learned my fucking lesson.

[sharpestsword]

Not at all.

No further comment then?

[ganashara]

[ ... ]

None.

Un: 333

[holeful]

Ah, I want to help, but don't you need to know how to swim to be a lifeguard?

[appleforyou]

Guess you did.

Although, if you’re such a shitty salesman that a handful of freebies keeps you from turning a profit, maybe you weren’t really cut out to help in the first place.

[pervy_kappa]

Dude. Hate to break it to you but he has me paying for all of it. Chef, supplies, grocaries. Its all coming outta my check.

So unless this one day BBQ is making me over 3 grand in sales I'm fucked no matter which way you put it.

un: oneflower

[kikuichi]

That means whoever can swim do the rescue itself. The rest of us can provide support.

Or we can start taking swimming lessons. (・o・)

un: oneflower

[kikuichi]

Will you be okay, my friend?

[Despite how this reads, Norimune is absolutely swinging by the Shuten stalls.]

[pervy_kappa]

I'm screwed.

I'm so fuckin' screwed it isn't even funny.

And not even in a nice fun way.

[sharpestsword]

Very well. Have fun at the beach party.

Stay safe.

[kikuichi]

Good luck! I'm sure you'll do fine, you're a big, strong and smart fellow.

[Gojyo probably deserves a treat afterwards.]

[pervy_kappa]

Buttering my buns like that will only get you in good if you have the money to go with it.

[HE KNOWS YOU'RE JUST BEING NICE JUST BECAUSE HE'S LITERALLY PAYING FOR YOUR MEAL]

UN: Lianfang-zun: Text

[taintedpeony]

Is everything alright A-Jing? You sound distressed.

[pervy_kappa]

Yeah. Distressed is one way to put it.

Fucking dirt poor and in debt due to a shady-ass boss is another.

[NEVER HELPING AGAIN]

[kikuichi]

[He's not typing his laughter, but he's laughing IRL.]

Aw, but it's our hard earned privilege.

[Okay, maybe he'll pay for one meal. Or two. Anything more than that? Debateable. He have friends and people to spoil!]

How about if I treat you to a drink afterwards?

[taintedpeony]

[Wow, Don't even look after your people. What a cheapskate Toraguma. He didn't regret putting up those lewd posters now. He was going to have to make more.]

He's putting the entire cost on you?!