Text; un: Thermodynamics // OTA

[heir_conditioned]

Hello. I've been told of the dangers of giving my name and picture to a wide network before, please accept my username for now.

There has been a lot happen here, but one thing sticks in my mind in the quieter hours that I would rather it not. I'd like to hear about the experiences people have with leaving others behind. Good or bad. Here, home, or another world. I've tried writing letters. A new notebook since my old one is lost to me. The new one doesn't seem to feel the same way. I've tried late night work outs, jogs, odd jobs in the evening, wandering and what one gentleman called the "night life" which I still don't completely understand. I could go to the same places in the day. All in all, I'm out of ideas.

Hearing any way that you deal with those thoughts constructively is something I'd be thankful for.

Thank you for your time and help in advance.

Comments

[silentscout]

Those kind of 'what ifs' will eat you alive. Accept that the answer is 'I don't know and I won't find out until I go back myself' and you will be able to keep going.

But it is possible to see the dead again in this city. So even if they do die, they aren't truly gone.

[heir_conditioned]

I looked up what you mean by eating me alive. I agree, that's what it feels like sometimes. Looking toward being able to see them is a possibility, maybe here as well. Had I not been through what I've been through I might not believe you. But you're right. Have you had any reports of people who've died being here?

[silentscout]

Yes.

[That is the only confirmation Shouto will get, because that particular report is a personal one and Lalli isn't one to talk about personal tragedies.]

This is a city where just about anything is possible.

And even if they do not come here, your country probably has its own afterlife to return to when you eventually die. You will see them there too.

[heir_conditioned]

[He certainly won't press it. He's already asking a lot of people to drag their traumas out and a single word is a telling word in this case.]

Then I'll hold hope in that, too. It feels selfish to want anyone here, but if the option is death, I'd rather them here.

I've never thought about that. I don't know how I feel about it, there's a lot of different ideas on afterlife.

[silentscout]

You will have plenty of time here to think about it.

[Existential dread is probably not a better thing to think about than missing your friends though.]

[heir_conditioned]

I think that it's something I'll give thought to. I hadn't ever thought about what happens after I'm dead. Or after they're dead. As long as I live my life in the right way, I'll be happy to leave behind a better world. Maybe that's the answer here, too.

[Or both might just answer what he needs. See? They are good at this...ish.]