text / un; ryomensukuna1

[thousand]

[ Don't mock his grandpa-core username, he chose it himself. ]

HELLO PEOPLE OF THE TOWN OF JIGOKUCHO

I AM RYOMEN SUKUNA

I HAVE AN INQUIRY

[ Oh, hang on, he can turn that capslock thing off.....clattering away with his claws to do that so he's not yelling (he's probably still yelling). ]

i wish to procure human meats

where can i get this

Comments

un: matoba

[worldbent]

[Matoba chooses to ignore, for now, the human-eating in the lede. He does not think it’s a joke. Don’t think he doesn’t see it!]

[Instead, let’s contribute to the more important topic:]

Macdonalds is very useful. It would be unwise to underestimate it

[He’s not only saying this because the Sutoku run the local franchise but... you know, it doesn’t hurt.]

creative username ojijis 💕

[thousand]

[ Oh no, don't worry Seiji— he is fully aware of the allure and singular greatness of McD's. Having woken up in the modern era after a spate of not being around, fast food was a revelation for this carnivore cryptid. ]

my personal preference is donburi but macdonalds has an admirable selection.

the fried potato chips are no laughing matter.

the ‘my reputation precedes me’ club

[worldbent]

[That’s very good now can he convince you to replace your diet entirely with garbage instead of human meat???]

When one requires a quick sweet treat, nothing beats a mcflurry

It actually pairs quite well with potato

[This is the kind of diet you have when a) no one dares to tell you no b) you have a life expectancy under 40 and just don’t give a shit]

the fact that they're both junk food gremlins

[thousand]

what is a

"mcflurry"

i have not had the chance to partake in this.

[ WHAT... HE DIDN'T KNOW... a secret item? a hidden menu? or— the human (who he shares a brain with back in his world— long story) never got him one.

"goes well with potato"? he's feeling feral. a lifetime of deprivation... ]

I’m embarrassed for both of these grown ass men

[worldbent]

Oh really? It’s a delicious ice cream treat, blended with pieces of candy

Actually, you can order various kinds

It might seem strange to eat alongside potato, but the sweet and the savory compliment each other quite well! Why not try one from the location here?

literal adults... who would know

[thousand]

i have never experienced this.

you speak of extraordinary wonders, are you a wizard?

or perhaps you are an oracle.

[ Seiji... you might be winning him over. ]

[worldbent]

Something like that

[But we don’t have to talk about that right now, Sukuna-san :))))]

Actually, you can just read the menu right here on this device, or so I’ve been told

It is on something called a “web site”

[thousand]

is this true? how curious. do you know of the oracle, "Siri", who lives in the device?

Ask it a question, but ensure that you address her directly.

She speaks in mysterious ways.

[ She did a math problem for him and blew his ojisan mind. ]

I’m making this canon I hope he’s HAPPY!!! 1/2

[worldbent]

“Oracle”?

[Oh no. Oh no, Sukuna, you’ve just sucked him into a terrible series of events.]

[He does not get back to this post for at least a day because he then: discovered Siri exists; lost his ever loving mind; assumed the phone contained a sealed spirit and became immediately paranoid; threw his phone into the river when he couldn’t find a way to exorcise it.]

[worldbent]

[Anyway the next day after he either has a kappa fish it out or gets a new one or whatever;]

I think I prefer paper

[thousand]

[ ...what an extraordinarily long time it took his fellow grandfather to reply. Sukuna assumed that maybe he was just having a hard time with the whole touch-screen keyboard; a fully legitimate struggle. ]

you see? was i not correct?

the oracle is most certainly fused with the device. did you contact her? did she impart wisdom to you, too?

[worldbent]

I attempted to destroy the spirit, but I was not yet successful

[Stone cold.]

It seems I will have to bide my time until further methods are available to me

How annoying

[thousand]

the spirit is useful, do not destroy tools that may serve you.

[ grandpa lectures grandpa....this is just two old guys smacking each other with their fans over a melon. ]

ask her what the time is in a foreign land.

she knows.

[worldbent]

I can always obtain another

I see no reason to keep around a spirit which I do not control

[A normal person would here reason that he means buying a new phone. What he means is sealing some other unsuspecting spirit in a pot to do his bidding. Natch.]

[But you know what..........he'll bite.....]

So we are still located within Japan after all

Fascinating

[thousand]

we are located in hell, i would think.

[ that's so helpful sukuna. ]

another question then, perhaps.

ask the oracle a question of mathematics.

she knows such sciences.

[worldbent]

You are getting quite a bit of use out of this spirit, aren't you

[Cannot relate! Too neurotic.]

How do you suppose that this oracle obtains its information?