text | un: tequila sunset

[horrifictie]

greetings citizens.

behold: the city speaks! it is a raven that appears in my mind's eye, without a voice and yet with speech all the same. cool cryptid shit. im a superstar prophet now.

do you have any questions you want to ask the city? i'll ask them for you. no lame questions and only one a person! cant waste my new friends time with TRIVIAL mortal concerns.

[ ooc: this is related to harry's new power and questions will be relegated to the mods for answers. there might be a response delay while I wait for the mods to respond so just keep that in mind! ]

Comments

[horrifictie]

and yet here you are wasting time without a single question offered.

[retroductions]

Only because you are forcing me to whittle down my particularly impressive range of very important questions to one. It is not an easy task. You should take responsibility for the wasted minutes between us.

[horrifictie]

aha!
i take no such responsibility.
i LOVE wasting people's time! even my own!

[retroductions]

It is utterly irresponsible for you to take no responsibility at all. I admit I am impressed by your candor and how quickly even I have fallen victim to your time-wasting stratagems.

Still, it is not quite enough to fully derail a mind like my own. I have narrowed the selection of questions down to one in record time. Are you prepared for it? (That was not the question.)

[horrifictie]

no im not prepared.
i want to waste more of your time!

[retroductions]

Too bad! I have determined that the only one who should waste my time is none other than myself.

So, do not divert your eyes away from the question: Where in this city can one find a great mystery just waiting to be unraveled?

[horrifictie]

the raven speaks:
"what is the purpose of the lost souls?"
that is the greatest mystery the raven imagines

[retroductions]

[Hm.]

Well, certainly not much in the way of starting points.

[horrifictie]

not in the slightest!
but ok you know what
since you're a pain in the ass i'll give you one more question.

[retroductions]

Ha! The perks of being stubborn, dear fellow. Nothing more, nothing less.

Then let us narrow the scope. Does the city have a need for a man to poke and prod about in certain places? Tell it I will accept medium-grade mysteries if need be.

[horrifictie]

when you say stubborn you mean "way too nosy and annoying for anyone's good"
i know because i am the same!
the raven said you should look into the source of the haniyasu's enmity.

[retroductions]

Is that what you believe yourself or what others tell you? And in the end, what does it matter? Results are swiftly achieved! This conversation is proof of that.

As for your raven friend, you may tell it 'thank you!'

[horrifictie]

it is proof indeed!
proof that everyone is right about me being a persistent can opener.
self-recognition, mr. greatbritishconsultingdete

[retroductions]

[ … ]

ctive

[horrifictie]

C-Tive?

[retroductions]

No, no. It is supposed to be greatbritishconsultingdete...ctive.

[horrifictie]

then why isn't it that?
did you hit the 'enter' button before finishing?
that happens to me a lot if im not careful.

[retroductions]

Tell me, have you yet to encounter the very frustrating problem of a ‘character limit’?

[horrifictie]

i have not!
and i must say, character limit sounds very bad.
there should never be limits on the number of characters!

[retroductions]

Indeed there should not! Why is there any sort of restriction at all? What sense does it make, to tell me that there is only limited room when it comes to my "name", but unlimited space where messages are concerned? Why not use the same system?

It is due to this strange, paradoxical problem that I have been robbed of my "ctive"!

[horrifictie]

maybe you should shorten it?
take "british" out of it?

[retroductions]

But I am British. And great, and consulting.

[horrifictie]

yeah but you need to prioritize!
let go of british or consulting.

[retroductions]

[But... no.]

How am I supposed to choose which to discard, like it were little more than trash? That is like a parent deciding which of their children should be sent away because there are not enough rooms in a house.

No, for now, I impress it upon others to infer the rest. "Dete" is enough to go on.

[horrifictie]

sometimes short and sweet is more of a punch!
anyway who needs to know you're british?
sounds made up.