Text; un: Thermodynamics // OTA

[heir_conditioned]

Hello. I've been told of the dangers of giving my name and picture to a wide network before, please accept my username for now.

There has been a lot happen here, but one thing sticks in my mind in the quieter hours that I would rather it not. I'd like to hear about the experiences people have with leaving others behind. Good or bad. Here, home, or another world. I've tried writing letters. A new notebook since my old one is lost to me. The new one doesn't seem to feel the same way. I've tried late night work outs, jogs, odd jobs in the evening, wandering and what one gentleman called the "night life" which I still don't completely understand. I could go to the same places in the day. All in all, I'm out of ideas.

Hearing any way that you deal with those thoughts constructively is something I'd be thankful for.

Thank you for your time and help in advance.

Comments

text: un: hawks

[redfeathers]

Nothing wrong with keeping your name to yourself.

What kind of person did you leave behind? That make help people give better advice on how to help.

o/!!

[heir_conditioned]

[Shoto has a moment or two where he's not sure if he should tell Hawks who he is. Or rather, isn't even sure if Hawks already knows. That's a possibility, too. Well, time will tell.]

Thankyou

My friends, someone I'm certain I saw as more than a friend, my family, a mentors. Before that, even more people who saved my life and gave me the keys to keeping myself alive in a world I had no idea how to survive in. I don't know if they're alive or dead.

c:

[redfeathers]

( Hawks knows a few of the students are here, so he considers it might be a possibility. Hard to tell based off what little they've said to one another so far, though.

But ah, he understands what's going, he thinks. )

You're grieving. Not in the traditional sense where someone you cared about passed away. But grieving still. It's the same concept. You've lost people you care about and instead of them having died, they're out of your reach. Instead of the 'could have been' people focus on when they lose someone, you're struggling with the 'what if'. It's a lot.

Are you religious at all? Spiritual?

[heir_conditioned]

[Reading the words, he really should've just gone to Hawks as it is. There's little doubt in his mind that someone with the same name could be someone different and have this kind of pinpoint accuracy. It takes him a moment or two of just mulling over what's been said let alone what he wants to say in response. The sense that it makes is only in what he's been explained, and being explained is exactly what he needs sometimes to understand on a level he can deal with it. If he knows, or doesn't, Shoto isn't going to be the first one out of that gate, but he won't be an ingrate either.]

Thank you, Hawks. They are out of my reach. I've held out hope, but selfishly because I want them to be alive. It feels like a lot when I have nothing to focus on. I would like very much to be back in some of the moments plaguing me, even if I'm not altogether unhappy here.

[The question though... Also not sure how to answer that.]

I'm probably not the person that any god would listen to as a devotee. We had a shrine to my brother that my father prayed at and that we paid our respects at.

[Aside praying to whoever would listen that one, very obvious time.]

[redfeathers]

( As he reads the messages, there's a thought that he thinks he might know who is on the other side of the screen. That username and a dead brother... Could just be a coincidence, but he knows some of the students are here. This could very well be one of them. But if it is, he thinks Shoto will tell him in due time if he wants him to know. )

It's a good sign you're holding onto hope. It means you care, and I'm sure they'd be happy to know you do if they were here. But if you hold on for too long, you're going to miss what's around you. What's important now. I'm sure you might know someone who lives in the past, and it's not always a good thing.

( But he considers the best way to approach this. Not religious or spiritual means he can't fall back on known rituals or prayers to help this person along. )

Sometimes I lose people in my line of work. If I thought about it all the time, it'd eat me alive. So I had to find a way to let go.

I could show you, if you want. It might work for you.

[heir_conditioned]

[Shoto isn't the hardest one of them to figure out. There were people that tried to help him fix that along the way, but he never really got the hang of it or the want to keep it up. Maybe, too, it'd be fine if Hawks had already figured it out on his own.]

Hawks is right. Even in battle if he thought of every time he lost and dwelled on that instead of how he lost and learned from it every positive lesson he could... he sure wouldn't be standing here right now. The pro hero really does have a way with words. The conversation stalls for a minute or two where Shoto is contemplating the decency if he doesn't tell Hawks and at the same time not wanting to come clean.]

I'd like that, please.

[Ultimately, he goes for something of both.]

[redfeathers]

( The delay in the conversation doesn't bother Hawks. This kind of topic isn't the easiest to talk about, and some people need time to process.

So when the response finally comes, he smiles down at his phone. A step in the right direction and helping this person get through this. )

Good. You're not scared of heights, are you?

[heir_conditioned]

[Heights? He has to think for a moment. A simple question but maybe a lot less when he could reliably put his powers to use. He has an inkling maybe, but not entirely of certainty he plucks out a small reply.]

I'm not afraid of heights, why?

[redfeathers]

Good. That'll make this easier.

( There's a location ping! It's the tippy top of one of the taller buildings. )

I'll meet you here.

Continued

[heir_conditioned]

Here.